Friday, March 16, 2007

common mistakes--incumbency--potato touching

Due to common misunderstandings and mistakes among the general populace, I have found it incumbent upon myself to use this website to clarify one of the major issues of my life--that is, how best to compliment me on any one of my numerous achievements or natural talents. This is something people or always asking me about and something that I'm getting pretty tired of explaining on a daily basis. So, here we go.

Generally speaking the best way to compliment me is by commenting on the reflecting qualities of my recently shampooed hair. I like my hair, and I especially like flourishing it after I have received a compliment. I am particular partial to the words "luminous," "shimmering," and "dimpled"-- although, if you do choose that last one, make sure you use it properly (remember: it's an adjective, not a comma).

Of course, there are other things you can say that will elicit a favorable response from me, and might even cause me to shake violently. Among these are: "you truly are covered in hair," "when I think about you, I touch a potato," "you have splendid taste in cheese," "habikonobidadidmaas" and, of course, "I like pants, too."

I hope this helps. Complimenting me really is a fun and rewarding experience and sometimes results in me patting you on the head or me licking myself.

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